50 Short Rude Quotes That Are Brutally Honest & Unfiltered
Sometimes, a little attitude says it all, so we’ve gathered all the best rude quotes for when you need to be blunt and unapologetic.
And if you’re looking for short rude sayings for Instagram, we also have you covered.
Now go ahead and browse through to find your favorite.
Short Rude Quotes
“If you will forgive me for being personal… I don’t like your face.” – George Bernard Shaw.
“There are few people whom I really love, and still fewer of whom I think well.” – Jane Austen.
“Just because you have the emotional range of a teaspoon doesn’t mean we all have.” – J.K. Rowling.
“I misjudged you… You’re not a moron. You’re only a case of arrested development.” – F. Scott Fitzgerald.
“He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.” – Winston Churchill.
“I never forget a face, but in your case, I’ll be glad to make an exception.” – Groucho Marx.
“The simplicity of your character makes you exquisitely incomprehensible to me.” – Oscar Wilde.
“I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend… if you have one.” – George Bernard Shaw.
“Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go.” – Oscar Wilde.
“You’re not that lucky, and I’m not that desperate!” – Anonymous.
“Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until they speak.” – Steven Wright.
“You suck. You should fix that.” – Anonymous.
“I’ve had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn’t it.” – Groucho Marx.
“Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution?” – Groucho Marx.
“Why do we spend so much time looking for intelligent life on other planets? I’d be happy to find intelligent life here on Earth first.” – Anonymous.
“Keep rolling your eyes; maybe you’ll find a brain back there.” – Anonymous.
“I can resist everything except temptation—and people like you.” – Oscar Wilde (paraphrased).
“He was a … vicious gossip, with a vocabulary composed almost entirely of obscenities, guttural verbs, and the word ‘postmodernist’.” – Salman Rushdie.
“The trouble with her is that she lacks the power of conversation but not the power of speech.” – George Bernard Shaw.
“I don’t have the energy to pretend to like you today.” – Anonymous.
“You know how advice is: You only want it if it agrees with what you wanted to do anyway.” – John Steinbeck.
“Human beings can always be relied upon to exert, with vigor, their God-given right to be stupid.” – Dean Koontz.
“I’m sorry I hurt your feelings when I called you stupid. I really thought you already knew.” – Anonymous.
“No, you don’t have to repeat yourself; I was ignoring you the first time.” – Anonymous.
“Tact is for people who aren’t witty enough to use sarcasm.” – Anonymous.
“The only thing worse than being talked about is not being talked about.” – Oscar Wilde (sarcastic tone).
“I have neither the time nor the crayons to explain this to you.” – Anonymous.
“Your fervent, misguided sense of entitlement is stunning.” – Anonymous.
“By the time we arrived, as evening was approaching, I felt as sore as a rock must feel when the waterfall has pounded on it all day long.” – Arthur Golden (sarcastic imagery).
“All God’s children are not beautiful; most are barely presentable.” – Fran Lebowitz.
“I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.” – Fred Allen.
“If you find it hard to laugh at yourself, I would be happy to do it for you.” – Groucho Marx.
“History teaches us that men and nations behave wisely once they have exhausted all other alternatives.” – Abba Eban.
“I cannot speak well enough to be unintelligible.” – Jane Austen.
“Have no fear of perfection—you’ll never reach it.” – Salvador Dalí.
“I didn’t attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.” – Mark Twain.
“Reader, suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself.” – Mark Twain.
“We are all born crazy. Some of us remain that way.” – Samuel Beckett.
“If you’re too open-minded, your brains will fall out.” – Lawrence Ferlinghetti.
“Life is hard; it’s harder if you’re stupid.” – John Wayne.
“I hate it when I think I’m buying organic vegetables but when I get home, I discover they’re just regular donuts.” – Anonymous.
“Whatever you do, always give 100%. Unless you’re donating blood.” – Bill Murray.
“Zombies eat brains. You are safe.” – Jon Stewart.
“Tact is the ability to tell someone to go to hell in such a way that they look forward to the journey.” – Winston Churchill.
“An optimist thinks that this is the best possible world. A pessimist fears that this is true.” – Robert Oppenheimer.
“Before you judge a man, walk a mile in his shoes. After that who cares? He’s a mile away and you’ve got his shoes!” – Billy Connolly.
“A celebrity is a person who works hard all his life to become well-known, then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized.” – Fred Allen.
“Everyone has the right to be stupid, but you are abusing the privilege.” – Anonymous.
“Always remember that you’re unique. Just like everyone else.” – Anonymous.
“Common sense is the most widely shared commodity in the world, for every man is convinced that he is well supplied with it.” – René Descartes.
