140 Halloween Quotes and Sayings for Instagram
Halloween is one of the most fun times of the year. The air is cool, the leaves are changing colors, and it’s time to carve pumpkins, decorate, find the perfect costume, and enjoy.
We’ve collected a list of the best, funniest, cutest, and spookiest Halloween quotes and sayings.
Whether you want a funny quote to make you laugh, a caption for your Halloween photos, or some humor for your decorations, you’ll find what you need here.
Halloween Quotes and Sayings
1# “Halloween was confusing. All my life my parents said, ‘Never take candy from strangers.’ And then they dressed me up and said, ‘Go beg for it.’ I didn’t know what to do! I’d knock on people’s doors and go, ‘Trick or treat…No, thank you.’” —Rita Rudner
2# “On Halloween, the parents sent their kids out looking like me.” – Rodney Dangerfield
3# “Dear Great Pumpkin, Halloween is now only a few days away. Children all over the world await you coming. When you rise out of the pumpkin patch that night, please remember I am your most loyal follower. Have a nice trip. Don’t forget to take out flight insurance.” – Linus
4# “Wench! Trollop! You bucktoothed, mop-riding firefly from hell!” – Billy Butcherson, Hocus Pocus
5# “I dropped the candies into the children’s bags, thinking: You small mortals don’t realize the power of your stories.” – Karen Russell, Vampires in the Lemon Grove
6# “He had arranged the arms and legs in letters, and the letters spelled out a single small word: BOO. The three torsos were carefully arranged below the BOO in a quarter-circle, making a cute little Halloween smile. What a scamp.” – Jeff Lindsay, Darkly Dreaming Dexter
7# “I love Halloween, and I love that feeling: the cold air, the spooky dangers lurking around the corner.” -Evan Peters
8# “The witches fly, Across the sky, The owls go, ‘Who? Who? Who?’ The black cats yowl, And green ghosts howl, ‘Scary Halloween to you!’” – Nina Willis Walter
9# “From ghoulies and ghosties and long-leggedy beasties and things that go bump in the night, Good Lord, deliver us!” – Scottish Saying
10# “I might play with my cat and then go trick people to death.” — Scott Holstad
11# “There is a child in every one of us who is still a trick-or-treater looking for a brightly-lit front porch.” – Robert Brault
12# “Halloween is huge in my house and we really get into the ‘spirits’ of things.” – Dee Snider
13# “This Halloween the most popular mask is the Arnold Schwarzenegger mask. And the best part? With a mouth full of candy you will sound just like him.” – Conan O’Brien
14# “Must be the season of the witch.” — Donovan
15# “Relax, it’s only magic.” — Sarah Bailey
16# “In the sky the Halloween moon raced in and out of the clouds. The Halloween wind was blowing, not a blasting of wind but a right-sized swelling, falling, and gushing of wind. It was a lovely and exciting night, exactly the kind of night Halloween should be.” – Eleanor Estes
17# “Monsters are real, and ghosts are real too. They live inside us, and sometimes, they win.” – Stephen King
18# “Shadows of a thousand years rise again unseen. Voices whisper in the trees, ‘Tonight is Halloween!’” – Dexter Kozen
19# “Double, double toil and trouble; Fire burn, and cauldron bubble.” – William Shakespeare, Macbeth
20# “We make up horrors to help us cope with the real ones.” – Stephen King
21# “During the day, I don’t believe in ghosts. At night, I’m a little more open-minded.”
22# “I’ll bet living in a nudist colony takes all the fun out of Halloween.”
23# “Witch parking. All others will be toad.”
24# “Not every witch lives in Salem.”
25# “Trick or treat, bag of sweets, ghosts are walking down the street.”
26# “The dead rise again, bats fly, terror strikes and screams echo, for tonight it’s Halloween.”
27# “When the witches go riding, and black cats are seen, the moon laughs and whispers ’tis near Halloween.”
28# “I’m a witch every day. Not just for Halloween.”
29# “Hocus pocus. Time to focus.”
30# “The only thing we have to fear is fear itself… and spiders.”
31# “Witch and ghost make merry on this last of dear October days.”
32# “There is magic in the night when pumpkins glow by moonlight.”
33# “Beneath this stone my wife doth lie. Now she’s at rest and so am I.”
34# “Here lies the body of Lester Moore. Three slugs from a forty-four. No Les, no more.”
35# “Here Lies Mozart. Decomposing”
36# “Here Lies Our Beloved Randy. Kicked the Bucket From Too Much Candy.”
37# “Shot in the head by a golfer’s gun. He sure put a hole in Juan!”
38# “Too much candy made Billy burst. They boxed up the pieces in the hearse.”
39# “William Gunder, Made one little blunder, Now he’s six feet under”
40# “Ghouls just wanna have fun!”
41# “This witch can be bribed with chocolate”
42# “Swish swish, witch”
43# “What’s up, witches?”
44# “Ghostest with the mostest”
45# “No tricks, just treats!”
46# “Keep calm and scare on”
47# “Don’t make me get the flying monkeys”
48# “Had a bloody good Halloween”
49# “Something wicked this way comes”
50# “Eat, drink, and be scary”
51# “We had a fang-tastic time!”
52# “Have a spooktacular night”
53# “Too cute to spook”
54# “Boo from the crew”
55# “Everything’s better with a little magic”
56# “Creature feature”
57# “Trick or treat yo’ self”
58# “Here for the boos”
59# “I have no body to dance with.”
60# “Came for the party, stayed for the boos.”
61# “Brrr… it’s cold in here. There must be some spirits in the atmosphere!”
62# “You can’t scare me I’m a ghost!”
63# “Had a spooktacular night!”
64# “Keep calm and carry a wand.”
65# “Can’t trick this treat.”
66# “Of course, we witches love the BOOs.”
67# “This is my resting witch face.”
68# “Nothing much. Just a basic witch.”
69# “Full moon with funny vampire captions for Halloween”
70# “I would like to give fangs to all my friends.”
71# “Sorry, you just seem like my blood type.”
72# “I’ve got a bat idea.”
Funny Halloween Quotes
73# “I see my face in the mirror and go, ‘I’m a Halloween costume? That’s what they think of me?’ ” – Drew Carey
74# “Bing, bong. ‘C’mon lady, let’s go. Halloween, doorbells, candy. Let’s pick it up.'” — Jerry Seinfeld
75# “Happy Halloween to all. And to all a good fright.” — Hubie Dubois, “Hubie Halloween”
76# “Being normal is vastly overrated.” — Aggie Cromwell, “Halloweentown”
77# “I go for a look which I call ‘Dead but Delicious.'” — Vladislav, “What We Do in the Shadows”
78# “Some people are born for Halloween, and some are just counting the days until Christmas.” — Stephen Graham Jones
79# “Halloween shadows played upon the walls of the houses.” – Eleanor Estes
80# “A person should always choose a costume which is in direct contrast to her own personality.” – Lucy Van Pelt, It’s the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown
81# “Let’s turn on the juice and see what shakes loose.” — Beetlejuice, “Beetlejuice”
82# “We’re not hosting an intergalactic kegger down here.” — Zed, “Men in Black”
83# “Ah, the old express bus to Hell. No lines, no waiting!” — Cyrus, “The Frighteners”
84# “Magic is really very simple, all you’ve got to do is want something and then let yourself have it.” – Aggie Cromwell, Halloweentown
85# “I’ve seen enough horror movies to know that any weirdo wearing a mask is never friendly.” – Elizabeth, Friday the 13th
86# “Halloween wraps fear in innocence, as though it were a slightly sour sweet. Let terror, then, be turned into a treat… ” – Nicholas Gordon
87# “Halloween is not only about putting on a costume, but it’s about finding the imagination and costume within ourselves.” – Elvis Duran
88# “I am a witch. A real house-haunting, broom-riding, cauldron-stirring witch.” —Samantha
89# “By the pricking of my thumbs, something wicked this way comes.” – William Shakespeare, Macbeth
90# “It’s showtime!” — Beetlejuice, “Beetlejuice”
91# “I don’t see how a pumpkin patch can be more sincere than this one.” — Linus, “It’s the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown”
92# “Keep calm and carry a wand.” — A.W. Jantha, “Hocus Pocus & The All New Sequel”
93# “Mystery is my mistress. I must heed her sweet call.” — Velma, “Scooby Doo 2: Monsters Unleashed”
94# ““Dobby never meant to kill. He only meant to maim, or seriously injure.” — Dobby, “Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows”
95# “‘Tis the night—the night of the graves delight and the warlocks are at their play; Ye think that without the wild winds shout, but no, it is they—it is they.” – Arthur Cleveland Coxe
96# “On Halloween, witches come true; wild ghosts escape from dreams. Each monster dances in the park.” -Nicholas Gordon
97# “I like to say I believe in ghosts so I don’t get haunted by one.” – Ella Henderson
98# “Witches don’t look like anything. Witches are. Witches do.” – Franny Billingsley
99# “I put a spell on you. Because you’re mine.” — Annie Lennox
100# “I want you to know that if I can’t be close to you, I’ll settle for the ghost of you.” — Justin Bieber, “Ghost”
101# “Run for it? Running’s not a plan! Running’s what you do once a plan fails!” — Earl Bassett, “Tremors”
102# “Isn’t the view beautiful? It takes my breath away. Well, it would if I had any.” — The Corpse Bride, “The Corpse Bride”
103# “And I would have gotten away with it too, if it weren’t for you meddling kids!” — Villian, “Scooby-Doo”
104# “Pardon me, boy, is this the Transylvania station?” — Dr. Frederick Frankenstein, “Young Frankenstein”
105# “I don’t understand it. I went trick-or-treating and all I got was a bag full of rocks.” — Charlie Brown, “It’s the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown”
106# “The suspense is terrible. I hope it’ll last.” — Willy Wonka, “Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory”
107# “If human beings had genuine courage, they’d wear their costumes every day of the year, not just on Halloween.” – Douglas Copeland
108# “When the witches went waltzing.” – Linda Williams
Short Halloween Quotes for Instagram
109# “Sticky fingers, tired feet; one last house, trick or treat!” – Rusty Fischer
110# “Believe nothing you hear, and only one half that you see.” – Edgar Allan Poe
111# “Where there is no imagination there is no horror.” – Arthur Conan Doyle
112# “Never trust the living.” – Beetlejuice
113# “I ate John. I wept the entire meal. Even though he tasted delicious.” — Nandor, “What We Do in the Shadows”
114# “I didn’t know if you have kids you need five different costumes.” — Mindy Kaling
115# “How many more months of Halloween this year?” — Jim Gaffigan
116# “Every day is Halloween, isn’t it? For some of us.” — Tim Burton
117# “For Halloween I’m going as a narcissist.” — Conan O’Brien
118# “On Halloween, the parents sent their kids out looking like me.” — Rodney Dangerfield
119# “Halloween is just finals week for parents.” — Jim Gaffigan
120# “Halloween: the night that fathers get their hearts broken when they see their daughters costume.” — Whitney Cummings
121# “Once again, my Halloween costume this year will be Sexy Weird Al.” — “Weird Al” Yankovic
122# “If you’ve got it, haunt it.” – Rose Pressey
123# “Clothes make a statement. Costumes tell a story.” – Mason Cooley
124# “I would die for her. I would kill for her. Either way, what bliss.” – Gomez, The Addams Family
125# “I see dead people.” – The Sixth Sense
126# “There’s a little witch in all of us.” — Aunt Jet Owens
127# “Halloween is an opportunity to be really creative.” – Judy Gold
128# “Listen to them—the children of the night. What music they make!” – Bram Stoker
129# “I put a spell on you because you’re mine.”- Jay Hawkins
130# “Things are never quite as scary when you’ve got a best friend.” – Bill Waterson
131# “I’m wicked through and through.” – Elphaba, Wicked
132# “It’s all just a bunch of hocus pocus.” – Max, Hocus Pocus
133# “There’s only 365 days left until next Halloween!” – The Nightmare Before Christmas
134# “Where my ghouls at?” – Monster High
135# “They’re creepy and they’re kooky, mysterious, and spooky.” – Andrew Gold
136# “Whatever you do, don’t fall asleep.”— A Nightmare on Elm Street
Halloween Quotes for Kids
137# “Trick or treat, smell my feet, give me something good to eat!” – Traditional Halloween chant
138# “Boo to you! Have a spooktacular Halloween!” – Friendly Halloween greeting
139# “I’m not scary, I’m just practicing my monster face!” – Silly Halloween quote
140# “I only have eyes for candy!” – Funny Halloween quote about loving sweets
141# “Witch way to the candy?” – Punny Halloween quote
142# “Boo-tiful Halloween to you!” – Cute Halloween pun
143# “I’m here for the boos and the candy!” – Humorous Halloween quote
144# “I’m just here for the boos and the booze… I mean the candy!” – Funny Halloween quote (for older kids)
145# “Witch way to the Halloween party?” – Playful Halloween pun
146# “This witch loves Halloween!” – Enthusiastic Halloween quote
