76 Funny Monday Quotes to Start your Week
Mondays can be tough, but a little humor can make them better!
That’s why we’ve gathered all the best funny Monday quotes for your next post.
And if you’re looking for witty and relatable sayings to laugh your way through the start of the week, we also have you covered.
Now go ahead and browse through to find your favorite.
Our Favorite Funny Monday Quotes
“Give me a treat, or leave me alone. It’s Monday.” — Paige
“Mondays are mundane, like Tuesdays minus 24 hours.” — Jarod Kintz
“What we do on Sunday absolutely doesn’t matter unless it meets us on Monday. Changes us on Monday. Transforms us on Monday.” — Judah Smith
“Hey I know it’s Monday but it’s also a new day, a new week, and in that lies a new opportunity for something special to happen.” — Michael Ely
“Every Monday morning is new hope.” — Maira Kalman
“The biggest thrill wasn’t in winning on Sunday but in meeting the payroll on Monday.” — Art Rooney
“Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7 of your life.” — Steven Wright
“Just one small positive thought in the morning can change your whole day.” — Dalai Lama
“You master Monday! You start winning the day! You start winning the week! Then the month! Then the year!” — Eric Thomas
“The choice to have a great attitude is something that nobody or no circumstance can take from you.” — Zig Ziglar
“Everything will change when your desire to move on exceeds your desire to hold on.” — Alan Cohen
“We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit.” — Will Durant
“Good things come to those who hustle.” — Chuck Noll
“Imagine having Mondays as a holiday and then it would be the best thing. Will someone please assist me in making it an official holiday and solve all our Monday blues.” — Rolland Mars
“Employers are at their happiest on Mondays. Employees are at their happiest on Fridays.” — Mokokoma Mokhonoana
“Mondays are the start of the work week which offer new beginnings 52 times a year!” — David Dweck
“What about Monday- That could be our one day we look at things the same way, and wear funny shoes.” — Kevin Dalton
“Don’t let a day of the week have so much power over your happiness. Monday.” — Andrea L’Artiste
“Mondays are a good day to make statements, not Friday.” — Ernie Els
“There is nothing more dreadful than having to go walking on one’s own on Monday.” — Thomas Bernhard
“It was a strangely disorienting feeling, to have something you’d relied on for so long start to change, like finding out that gravity no longer worked on Mondays.” — Maggie Stiefvater
“Don’t mess with anybody on a Monday. It’s a bad, bad day.” — Louise Fitzhugh
“If only one of the presidential candidates would make it part of his platform to do something about making Monday part of the weekend. I think he would get a lot of votes.” — Thomas Wayne
“Mondays are a lot like getting fat. They make you feel sad, sometimes angry and there is not much scope for liking either fat or Mondays for any reason.” — Gary Moll
“Monday is the day of silence, day of the whole white mung bean, which is sacred to the moon.” — Chitra Banerjee Divakaruni
“Sometimes it pays to stay in bed on Monday, rather than spending the rest of the week debugging Monday’s code.” — Dan Salomon
“All men tend to become angry and irritated on the start of the week. It is the start of the week but is the end of all fun and happiness in life.” — Venus Rivers
“Even the best weeks start with Monday.” — Nice Peter
“On Monday mornings I am dedicated to the proposition that all men are created jerks.” — H. Allen Smith
“This has been such a Monday! I wish I stayed in bed, and I wish that yesterday had never happened.” — Lisa Mantchev
“Monday is great for becoming too busy to die.” — Roy Station
“There are no miracles on Mondays.” — Amy Neftzger
“If each day is a gift, I would like to know where I can return Mondays.” — John Wagner
“On Monday, when the sun is hot, I wonder to myself a lot. Now is it true, or is it not, that what is which and which is what?” — A.A. Hodge
“Work in a way that you look forward to Monday mornings.” — Swami Parthasarathy
“You don’t want to have to come into work on Monday already apologizing. I try to save my apologies for what I’ve done later in the week.” — Ike Barinholtz
“Candy is nature’s way of making up for Mondays.” — Rebecca Gober
“Don’t let the Monday morning quarterbacks stop you from being bold. You’ve got to set a high bar.” — Antonio Villaraigosa
“Monday morning you sure look fine.” — Lindsey Buckingham
“Believe on Monday the way you believe on Sunday.” — Rita Schiano
“Monday, Monday, so good to me; Monday morning, it was all I hoped it would be.” — John Phillips
“So. Monday. We meet again. We will never be friends—but maybe we can move past our mutual enmity toward a more-positive partnership.” — Julio Alexi Genao
“I must break the routines and become a person who becomes productive every Monday. I must break the mindset of unhappiness and turn myself into a happy magnet for Mondays.” — Leggy Saul
“Okay, it’s Monday but who said Mondays have to suck? Be a rebel and have a great day anyway.” — Kimberly Jiménez
“You are in control. Never allow your Monday to be manic.” — Andrea L’Artiste
“Find a job you like and you will add five days to every week.” — H. Jackson Brown
“Monday is great if I can spend it in bed. I’m a man of simple pleasures, really.” — Arthur Darvill
“Last Monday nite / I saw a fight / Between Wednesday and Thursday / Over Saturday nite / Tuesday asked me what was going on / I said ‘Sunday’s in the meadow / And Friday’s in the corn’.” — John Prine
“It is a custom in Ireland, among shoemakers, if they intoxicate themselves on Sunday, to do no work on Monday; and this they call making a Saint Monday or keeping Saint Crispin’s day. Many here adopted this good custom from the example of the shoemakers.” — Maria Edgeworth
“Monday, n. In Christian countries, the day after the baseball game.” — Ambrose Bierce
“‘As Monday goes, so goes the week,’ dames say. Refreshed, renewed, use well the initial day. And see! thy neighbour already seeks his labour.” — Ella Wheeler Wilcox
“Red beans were traditionally cooked while the Monday wash was drying on the line, and since New Orleans humidity made that an all-day job, the beans cooked for many hours.” — Rima Collin and Richard Collin
“It’s just another manic Monday / I wish it was Sunday / ‘Cause that’s my fun day / My I don’t have to run day.” — Prince Nelson
“To Banbury came I, O profane one! / Where I saw a Puritane-one / Hanging of his cat on Monday / For killing of a mouse on Sunday.” — Richard Brathwaite
“My good man, Crillon, hang yourself for not having been at my side last Monday at the greatest event that’s ever been seen and perhaps ever will be seen.” — Henri IV (of Navarre)
“You know you’re getting older when every day seems like Monday.” — Kitty Carlisle
“He who is not tipsy on Sunday is not worth shaking hands with on Monday.” — Albanian Proverb
“Mondays are the potholes in the road of life.” — Tom Wilson
“When life gives you Monday, dip it in glitter and sparkle all day.” — Ella Woodword
“Let me ask you something. When you come in on Monday and you’re not feeling real well, does anyone ever say to you, ‘Sounds like someone has a case of the Mondays?'” — Peter Gibbons
“Beautiful. Relaxed. But always in the back of your mind, there’s the knowledge that it’ll soon be Monday. There’s no future in being a Sunday-night girl.” — Sharon Carter
“We’re waiting for the chirp, chirp, chirp, of an eaglet being born, / Waiting for the chirp, chirp, chirp, on this humid Monday morning, in this… / Congressional incubator.” — John Adams with Dr. Benjamin Franklin and Thomas Jefferson
“Monday is a funny thing / Still waiting for the phone to ring / Will my imagination take it slow / After Saturday, my life is changed / In a moment it was rearranged / Strange how easy it is letting go / And I miss your face / Like the sun was in my eyes / And now I’m running blind.” — Nick Carter
“You brought your Sunday morning sunshine / Here into my Monday morning rain. / You taught me happiness just one time, / It keeps on coming back again.” — Harry F. Chapin
“Easter Monday in the city – / Rattle, rattle, rumble, rush; / Tom and Jerry, Nell and Kitty, / All the down-the-harbour ‘push,’ / Little thought have they, or pity, / For a wanderer from the bush.” — Barcroft Henry Thomas Boake
Hello Monday!
“Hello, Monday! May I ask you a question? Why are you always back so quickly? Don’t you have a hobby?”
“Monday is like a math problem. Add the irritation, subtract the sleep, multiply the problems, divide the happiness.”
“Dear radio stations, please do not play Katy Perry’s ‘Friday Night’ Monday morning at 8 AM during my drive to work.”
“Things I don’t like: 1) Probably you. 2) Cold coffee. 3) Small talk. 4) Mondays. 5) Having a small talk with you on a Monday while my coffee is getting cold.”
“I swear it was Friday like 5 minutes ago.”
“My Week is like: Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Blink, Monday.”
“Dear Monday, go step on a lego.”
“If each day is a ‘gift’, I’d like to know where I can return the Monday.” — John Wagner
“In the sentence: ‘I love Monday’, the guy is crazy, retired, or on vacation.”
“If Monday were a person, it would be a boring friend who always forces us to do what we don’t want.”
“I accept that it exists, but the day I like a Monday, I will be close to meeting human madness.”
