73 Funny Love Quotes To Lighten The Mood

Discover the lighter side of love with our collection of funny love quotes. Perfect for a quick laugh or to share with someone special!

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Short Funny Love Quotes

“Love is sharing your popcorn.” – Charles Schultz
“Love is telling someone their hair extensions are showing.” – Natasha Leggero
“I love you more than coffee, but please don’t make me prove it.” – Elizabeth Evans
“I love you even when I’m really, really hungry.” – Unknown
“Marriage is like a deck of cards. In the beginning, all you need is two hearts and a diamond. By the end, you wish you had a club and a spade.” – Unknown
“My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.” – Rodney Dangerfield
“Love is a two-way street constantly under construction.” – Carroll Bryant
“Love is like a toothache. It doesn’t show up on X-rays, but you know it’s there.” – George Burns
“I love you more than yesterday—yesterday you were really annoying.” – Unknown
“If love is the answer, could you rephrase the question?” – Lily Tomlin

Husband and Wife Funny Love Quotes

“Marriage lets you annoy one special person for the rest of your life.” – Unknown
“My wife and I always compromise. I admit I’m wrong and she agrees with me.” – Unknown
“They say marriage is all about compromise. I hope you like this anniversary gift that I picked out for myself.” – Unknown
“An archaeologist is the best husband any woman can have; the older she gets, the more interested he is in her.” – Agatha Christie
“Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right and the other is the husband.” – Unknown
“Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.” – Jim Carrey
“My wife dresses to kill. She cooks the same way.” – Henny Youngman
“Marriage is the bond between a person who never remembers anniversaries and another who never forgets them.” – Ogden Nash
“You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to.” – Henny Youngman
“The best way to get most husbands to do something is to suggest that perhaps they’re too old to do it.” – Ann Bancroft

Funny Love Quotes for Him

“You are the cheese to my macaroni.” – Unknown
“You’re the reason I look down at my phone and smile. Then walk into a pole.” – Unknown
“I love you even more than I am annoyed by you, which is a lot.” – Unknown
“Let’s cuddle so I can steal your body heat.” – Unknown
“I love you with all my belly. I would say heart, but my belly is bigger.” – Unknown
“I vow to still grab your butt even when you’re old and wrinkly.” – Unknown
“Being with you has made me so lame I think I like it.” – Unknown
“Sometimes I wonder how you put up with me. Then I remember, oh I put up with you. So we’re even.” – Unknown
“I know I’m a handful, but that’s why you’ve got two hands.” – Unknown
“You’re the reason I do everything with one hand, so I can hold you with the other.” – Unknown
“I love you more than coffee, but please don’t make me prove it.”
“I think you are suffering from a lack of vitamin ME.”
“You must be made of Iodine, Livermorium, and Uranium because I Lv U!”
“You’re basically the cutest thing I have ever loved, after my kitten.”
“Everyday I fall in love with you more and more. Except yesterday… yesterday you were pretty annoying.”
“A man in love is not complete until he is married. Then he is finished.” —Zsa Zsa Gabor
“I would love you, no matter what. Even if you were to fart in your sleep.”
“Eighty percent of married men cheat in America. The rest cheat in Europe.” —Jackie Mason
“Besides my cup of coffee, you’re my favorite.”
“The way you look at me is similar to the way I look at a chocolate cake. I love it!”

Funny Love Quotes for Her

“I love you more than I love getting the last word in.”
“You’re like my asthma – you just take my breath away.”
“You make my heart skip a beat. And not just because you’re terrifying.” “I love you as much as I love my favorite team.”
“I love the adorable things you do when you’re angry ― like not texting me back.”
“If love is a sweet dream, then marriage is an alarm clock.”
“My wife was afraid of the dark… then she saw me naked and now she’s afraid of the light.” ―Rodney Dangerfield
“You’re the butter to my bread, and the breath to my life.”
“My wife and I were happy for 20 years. Then we met.” —Rodney Dangerfield
“I can’t make you love me, but I can fill my pantry with your favorite snacks and offer you a weekly stipend of $75.” ―Rob Delaney
“You must be a camera cause you always make me smile.”
“You must be a magician! Everything around me disappears when I see your goofy smile.”
“Your license must be suspended for driving me crazy.”
“You should be kissed and often, and by someone who knows how.” ―Rhett Butler, Gone With The Wind
“Stick with me because I’ll ruin your lipstick, not your mascara.”
“You’re not just my better half. You’re the only half.”
“My love for you is like a fart that can’t be contained. Bursting out aloud in all its glory and stench.”
“If you were a vegetable, you’d be a cute-cumber!”
“I promise to always be by your side. Or under you. Or on top.”
“If you’re a bird, I’m a bird.” ―Nicholas Park, The Notebook
“Sometimes. Life gives you great things. So here I am.”

Funny Relationship Quotes

“In any serious relationship, you should find someone who knows how to use a thermostat.”
“I love you even when you snore louder than my alarm clock.”
“Love is blind but marriage is a real eye-opener.”
“We go together like smartphones and battery warnings.”
“Relationships are like algebra. Have you ever looked at your X and wondered Y?”
“My wife and I were happy for 20 years – then we met each other.”
“A good relationship is when someone accepts your past, supports your present, and encourages your future.”
“Love is not having to hold your farts in anymore.”
“Marriage is a workshop where the husband works and the wife shops.”
“They say love is more important than money, but have you ever tried to pay your bills with a hug?”
“Love is a sweet dream and marriage is the alarm clock.” – Unknown
“The four most beautiful words in our common language: ‘I told you so.'” – Unknown
“The best way to remember your wife’s birthday is to forget it once.” – Unknown