53 Funny Best Friend Quotes That Roast With Love
Best friends are the people who get away with everything.
They roast you. They know your worst habits. They’ve seen you at your absolute lowest and still choose to hang around.
That’s what makes the friendship real. You don’t have to pretend. You can be weird and messy and they’ll just match your energy.
The best friendships are built on inside jokes and shared chaos. On laughing until you can’t breathe over something that isn’t even that funny.
These funny best friend quotes capture that vibe perfectly. They’re for the friends who feel more like family.
Funny Best Friend Quotes
“My friends and I are crazy. That’s the only thing that keeps us sane.” — Matt Schucker
“I don’t like to commit myself about heaven and hell — you see, I have friends in both places.” — Mark Twain
“A good friend will always stab you in the front.” — Oscar Wilde
“The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four Americans is suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of your three best friends. If they’re OK, then it’s you.” — Rita Mae Brown
“Most of us don’t need a psychiatric therapist as much as a friend to be silly with.” — Robert Brault
“Friendship is born at the moment when one man says to another, ‘What! You too? I thought I was the only one.’” — C.S. Lewis
“A friend is someone who knows all about you and still loves you.” — Elbert Hubbard
“Which of all my important nothings shall I tell you first?” — Jane Austen
“One sure way to lose another woman’s friendship is to try to improve her flower arrangements.” — Marcelene Cox
“If you wanna find out who’s a true friend, screw up or go through a challenging time … then see who sticks around.” — Karen Salmansohn
“‘Tis the privilege of friendship to talk nonsense, and to have her nonsense respected.” — Charles Lamb
“A loyal friend laughs at your jokes when they’re not so good, and sympathizes with your problems when they’re not so bad.” — Arnold H. Glasgow
“You’re mad. Bonkers. Off your head. But I’ll tell you a secret: Some of the best people are.” — Lewis Carroll
“Friends make you smile — best friends make you giggle ’til you pee your pants.” — Terri Guillemets
“True friends are like diamonds: bright, beautiful, valuable, and always in style.” — Nicole Richie
“Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo, but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down.” — Oprah Winfrey
“It takes your enemy and your friend, working together, to hurt you to the heart: the one to slander you and the other to get the news to you.” — Mark Twain
“It’s the friends you can call up at 4 a.m. that matter.” — Marlene Dietrich
“There is nothing better than a friend, unless it is a friend with chocolate.” — Linda Grayson
“I do not want people to be very agreeable, as it saves me the trouble of liking them a great deal.” — Jane Austen
“Friends are people who know you really well and like you anyway.” — Greg Tamblyn
“I’ll stick to finding the funny in the ordinary because my life is pretty ordinary and so are the lives of my friends — and my friends are hilarious.” — Issa Rae
“Nothing is more dangerous than a friend without discretion; even a prudent enemy is preferable.” — Jean de La Fontaine
“The imaginary friends I had as a kid dropped me because their friends thought I didn’t exist.” — Aaron Machado
“You can always tell a real friend: When you’ve made a fool of yourself, he doesn’t feel you’ve done a permanent job.” — Laurence J. Peter
“The worst part of success is trying to find someone who is happy for you.” — Bette Midler
“A true friend is someone who thinks that you are a good egg even though he knows that you are slightly cracked.” — Bernard Meltzer
“It is one of the blessings of old friends that you can afford to be stupid with them.” — Ralph Waldo Emerson
“It is more fun to talk with someone who doesn’t use long, difficult words but rather short, easy words like, ‘What about lunch?’” — A. A. Milne
“One measure of friendship consists not in the number of things friends can discuss, but in the number of things they need no longer mention.” — Clifton Fadiman
“Friendship is like money, easier made than kept.” — Samuel Butler
“‘Tis a great confidence in a friend to tell him your faults; greater to tell him his.” — Benjamin Franklin
“Friend is someone to share the last cookie with.” — Cookie Monster
“Come at once if convenient. If inconvenient, come all the same.” — Arthur Conan Doyle
“Life is an awful, ugly place to not have a best friend.” — Sarah Dessen
“Anybody can sympathize with the sufferings of a friend, but it requires a very fine nature to sympathize with a friend’s success.” — Oscar Wilde
“Candor is a compliment; it implies equality. It’s how true friends talk.” — Peggy Noonan
“‘Are we going to be friends forever?’ asked Piglet. ‘Even longer,’ Pooh answered.” — A.A. Milne
“Friends: people who borrow my books and set wet glasses on them.” — Edwin Arlington Robinson
“There are three faithful friends, an old wife, an old dog, and ready money.” — Benjamin Franklin
“True friends fiercely debate issues and still walk away as friends.” — Frank Sonnenberg
“If you have two friends in your lifetime, you’re lucky. If you have one good friend, you’re more than lucky.” — S.E. Hinton
“I value the friend who for me finds time on his calendar, but I cherish the friend who for me does not consult his calendar.” — Robert Brault
“A good friend is a connection to life — a tie to the past, a road to the future, the key to sanity in a totally insane world.” — Lois Wyse
“Two things you will never have to chase: True friends & true love.” — Mandy Hale
“Men kick friendship around like a football, but it doesn’t seem to crack. Women treat it like glass and it goes to pieces.” — Anne Morrow Lindbergh
“Part of the journey in life is slipping and falling along the way; in these times true friends are the ones who pick you up and dust you off.” — Ken Poirot
“The holy passion of Friendship is so sweet and steady and loyal and enduring a nature that it will last through a whole lifetime, if not asked to lend money.” — Mark Twain
“We are keenly aware of the faults of our friends, but if they like us enough it doesn’t matter.” — Mignon McLaughlin
“It’s a funny thing, friendship. One minute a person is driving you crazy, making you want to shake them, and the next minute you realize what a crappy place the world would be without them in it.” — Natasha Friend
“True friends don’t judge each other, they judge other people together.” — Emilie Saint-Genis
“True friends are those who came into your life, saw the most negative part of you, but are not ready to leave you, no matter how contagious you are to them.” — Michael Bassey Johnson
“A true friend is rare, a true friend is the best, a true friend is needed, like east needs west.” — Matt Haig
